This, GUY, lets call him A - he was supposed to be a really really good mate of mine. Like, we could chat about anything, and we even used to have little "things" for each other, but nothing ever happened, so the situation never got resolved, and he is way over me...but I still can't decide whether or not I'm over him.
Anyway he has a girlfriend, N, and she's perfectly nice (a bit manly, even though she's slim and pretty - she's like, one of the lads) and to begin with, its like they were fuck buddies, who decided to go out, and at one point A wasn't sure whether or not he wanted to go out with her anymore, and he told me this.
But recently, he told me (after they've been going out for...i dunno 4 months)
"I think I'm in love with her"
And I asked him last week, did you tell her. And he said yes, and she said the same to me. And was genuinely happy for him, because life without love isn't worth living. But since then he has become absolutely obsessed with her. He won't go to our usual lunch place without going to look for her, and today we were walking to the front of college and he was so eager to get to her that he went off ahead without me, and says (to himself) "N is.....stuupidd..."
What. Thefuck. WHO SAYS THAT SORT OF THING, OUT LOUD, TO THEMSELVES. Its like he was so desperate to go see her, that he forgot that I (his very good friend) was there, and went off without me. We then found her and had to wait around abit for this other mate, and it was almost like I wasn't there. She didn't even say anything to me, and when I said something I was totally ignored. I know they're a couple, and they are (now - although I do have doubts about her feelings towards him) in love....I dunno.
I then walked down the hill with them and this other guy, and he was chatting to them, and I was all on my own - I was totally ignored the entire walk down the hill (a good 10 minutes). I felt so lonely. Then the train got there as we were coming up to the station, and they all ran for it, and I didn't. And I would like to think that when they got on the train they realised I wasn't there, and wondering if I was ok because I was really quiet today....but I doubt it.
Its like all of a sudden he has become so totally obsessed with this (not very attractive to my eyes) girl that he has NO time to even ASK about anyone else. And this is the sort of guy who used to text me to check if I was ok when I'd been a bit quiet at college - even when I was totally fine. And now when I really am down and uber quiet, he is nowhere to be seen because all he can talk about, all he can think about, and the only think that affects him is N.
And I just want my friend back.
Lunch today = shit. small bowl of pasta with bit of cheese, why did I eat it? Anyway thats about 350kcals.
I feel like shit because I ate it.
Remember this feeling.
Right now, i hate me. I want to go hungry because I want people to NOTICE that I'm NOT OK.
xoxo - pirategrrl.
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